So me and my friend were sitting around guffawing at all the poor sods who are obviously desparate for pageviews and whatnot and we thought, heY! wait a minute! These poor sods need some guidance. Some expert advice.

And my friend, , who, btw, is very well-versed in this and has lotsa pageviews ()

Let's get started:

1) dAmn chat ppl! It is your friend, LEARN how to WORK IT! click on any random thread and start talking. There's usually one or two ppl that will acknowledge your presence and click on your name of curiosity.

2) Make sure to interject random comments if no one is talking to you. Either they'll get annoyed at you trying to include yourself or they'll actually include you.

3) Ask lots of stupid obvious questions. Continue this till Carpal Tunnel Syndrome sets in.

4) Go to the forums and pick a newbie thread. Welcome each and every single newbie you see and add two or three of them for good measure. Don't worry, you can un-watch them later XD.

5) Create a tutorial labelled, "How to draw anime eyes/hair". Even if its pretty shitty. Include two or three variations of the anime eye. People eat those up like cake.

6) Create another tutorial labelled, "How to draw bishounen men". Don't know what a bishounen is? No worries! Soon, you'll have hoards of twisted fan-girls clamouring to see how to draw very womenly men. Cha-chinG! goes the pageview count.

7) Create anime pin-ups: hot women with very little clothes, long legs and boobs that are surely guoing to rip their already-shredded skimpy tube-top apart. Pass them off as warriors of some saga.

8) You know how they say no spamming? There's an art to that. You enter a forum and make the most ignorant comment about a religious/political movement. Wait until someone responds. Then, leave for a bit and come back. Educated people will pounce on you immediately and comment on your front page to tell you what a horrid little snot you are. And the other ignorant ppl will check you out as well.

9) Seriously, this works. Go to the dA top page and click on Today. Then, introduce yourself to each and EVERY new deviant. If you can tell their ethnicity, pretend to be that culture and be like, "YAH! Another brown kid!" OR, "HEY! i'm from the Phillipines toO!" Theses newbies contribute to HALF your daily count, trust me.

10) Go to the top page of dA and click on a really bad incoming deviation. Comment AND fav the pic. Then, go to their gallery and fav two more of their works. You'll get a comment from the artist and pageviews from ppl who are stunned at your stupidity.

11) If someone watches you, go to their gallery and write a thanks. then watch em ryt back. The opposite person thinks you're super nice and will check back often to see your works. (don't worry, you can un-watch them the next day)

12) Shoutboxes are a great way to get yourself around dA. just keep those comments coming.

13) Find a piece of anime artwork and, in the comments, bitch about how anime is the WORST form of art you ever had the misfortune of laying your eyes upon. Act superior. Every other raging azn girl under the age of 13 will visit your front page to tell you what an ignorant ass you are and add to your pageviews.

14) Find a piece of artwork that has obvious slash/homosexual themes in it. In a comment, make it apparent that your homophobic. Rampaging, hormonal 16, 17 and 18 year olds will flock to your front page to tell you to kill yourself, you close-minded moron. Remember, they are only adding to your pageviews.

15) Churn out really BAD deviations and then visit thumbshare and say you're a newbie. Believe it or not, people give pity views.

16) Visit gettyimages.com and pick out nude pics, possibly of gay or lesbian people. Run ONE or TWO filters on them in Photoshop and post em. People love porn -er- i mean art.

17) Your avatar can depict some slash (homosexual) pairing from either the HP or Naruto fandom. People think your awesome and create this type of art and there goes the pageview count again.

18) To further advertise your avatar, join many clubs. Even if you aren't particularly interested.

19) Always have a long list of friends and clubs in the footer of your journal. This lets passersby be impressed with the amount of friends you've amassed (even if you're only watching them and they don't really know you) and makes you a more credible watcher. They have no idea you're going to delete them off your watch list and will stop by every so often to check on you.

20) Remember, ppl on dA are weird. So shitty art gets pageviews and btr art gets the same number of pageviews as shitty art. So go wild. Add a really good artist with a low number of pageviews and kiss up to them. They'll surely post a thank you in your front page.

21) BE A DA WHORE BABY! post shit five times a day and keep checking back. Make sure the art is REALLY cute-sy anime.

22) Put a link to this journal in your journal, then put a link of that journal into your sig!

KNOCK YOURSELF OUT KIDS!

--------------Please bear in mind that SARS and Sindeedee bear no responsibility to any injuries, physical or mental, retained while performing the above suggestions. Attempt at your own discretion-------------------------------------------

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My Friends:



Clubs I'm in (i NEED more variety here man ^^'):



Some of the most talented and truly amazing individuals that enrich life and dA with their gorgeous art. In other words, just check em out. Do it. do it. do it.: